Gareth's day part 1

Alright! Finally got round to writing about the one-on-one days that I had with my kids!

First up was Gareth, on the Tuesday of my week of leave in September, during the school holidays. His day was broken up into 2 halves, a Tuesday afternoon, and a Saturday morning, because I had gotten tickets to the Singapore Toy, Game and Comic Convention on that Saturday, but we couldn't stay the whole day because he had guitar lessons in the afternoon, and we had church in the evening.

So at about noon on Tuesday, full of enthusiasm and excitement, we drove down to Vivo city, planning to get a quick lunch, then go down to Sentosa, because Gareth wanted to go to the beach(the boy can't get enough of it). After we parked, he happily opened the car door and swung it open.....hard. I heard a bang and felt my heart sink. The car door on his side had hit the adjacent car, and made a significant dent in its door. I tried my best not to explode fully, and I think I did a pretty good job, I didn't shout or scream, but I couldn't really hide my dismay, and the poor boy looked downcast. I left a note on the windscreen of the said car, we finished our lunch, and then came back to the carpark. At the time, the owner had not returned. Just as I was inspecting the note again, to make sure I had written it properly, the owner came back. I explained the situation, and all things considered, he didn't take it too badly, but I could see he was upset. Well, who wouldn't be? Anyway, he said he would bring the car to his workshop, and would inform me about the repair cost. I was painfully aware that it was a pretty new car, and had an idea that it was going to cost a fair bit.

But at least there was some resolution in sight. I tried to be more positive, and it must have rubbed off on Gareth, because soon he had practically forgotten about the whole thing. We got to the beach, and had a great time. The thing about one-on-one outings with your kids(especially when you have a lot), is that you get to focus all your attention on that one kid, and it was great! I built sandcastles with him, buried his legs in the sand, and basically just spent a great time together.

We even found time to cross the bridge to that little island on the lagoon, billed as the southermost tip of the peninsula.

There were many great memories, even the little things left a great impression, like catching sight of schools of fish in the water as we were walking across the bridge. It was interesting because there were 3 distinct schools with different sizes of fish, one school with tiny fish, one with slight larger, and another with larger still fish. And there were a couple of big fishes swimming around. So we made up a story about these fishes being in primary school(school? get it? huh? huh? clever right?), secondary school, and JC, and the couple of big fishes were teachers. And the schools of bigger fishes looked like they were "scaring" the tiny fish, chasing and scattering them intermittently. It was just a silly moment, but it was a great memory.

I think when there's only one kid, and I'm devoting all my time to him, the memory of the time spent becomes deeper, sharper, whereas with all the kids at once, everything's just a blur. 

Anyway, in the later part of the evening, we still found time to take the skyline cable car(or whatever it's called), to take the luge ride.

The cable ride was crazy scary. We only had an iron bar thingy protecting us from falling to our doom, with our legs dangling in mid air. There was once a time when I would have found this thrilling, but I'm getting too old for this.

The luge ride was quite fun. We bought tickets for 2 rides(that's the minimum). Gareth caught on quickly, and he went very fast down the hill, almost overturning a couple of times in his attempts to stave off my pursuit. In the first ride, I could catch up with him quite easily, but on the second ride, I couldn't overtake him. 

By that time, it was late evening, and after stopping for some ice cream, we drove off to pick up the rest of the kids and mummy. I could see that he really enjoyed himself, and truly, that was a wonderful feeling. The car dent didn't really put a dent(heh heh) on the day's fun.

Checking in

Arrgh, not again! The time flies swifter than the dragons in Game of Thrones. It's been almost 2 months since I last posted. There's just been so many things happening. On a normal day, there's already hardly much time for anything else. On top of that, responsibilities at work take up a significant amount of time, and recently, the kids have started falling ill with viral infection one after another. Everything's a blur at the moment.

We did an interesting thing recently, though. I took a week's leave early in September, and my wife and I, we were trying out this concept about me spending one-on-one time with the kids. They don't get to see me much in the weekdays because I'm at work, and when we do have time together, we largely spend it as a whole family. So we were thinking, I would spend some individual time with each of the kids during the week I was on leave. We would plan what they want to do, and I would  do it with them the whole day, each kid having one whole day.

It was a wonderful success.

A lot of great memories were made, it was amazing. We all had great fun.

I'll write about this in the next post. Want to put in the pics that we took, but it's late now, there's another long week ahead, so I'll have to put this off a bit longer. Will come back soon, though.

Musings

A public holiday. Yeah, it's National Day, somehow it always seems a bit special, it being the country's birthday and all, but these days, I'm mostly just glad for the holiday. A little breather. A bit of time to myself, a break from all the chaos while the kids are at school.....oh wait.

Anyway, it is a chance to spend quality time together. We're going to the beach, to finally make Gareth happy. He's been wanting to go to the beach for some time, but the last 3 times we tried to make his dream come true, all 3 times it had rained. Here's hoping 4th time's the charm, and also hoping that while it will not rain, the weather won't be of the other extreme as well. And that very few people will wake up tomorrow and think, "Let's go to the beach!"

Life is getting more hectic. Two children in primary school in itself is tough, what with one having PSLE coming up next year. I don't know how to oversee the academic progress of both of them without splitting myself into two. Then there are 3 other children who demand just as much attention for different reasons. In particular, we are having to deal with Charlotte's increasing sense of curiosity and lack of sense of self-preservation. We can't take our eyes off her for a moment. She'll be climbing all over the place, often ending up in precarious positions. She's so interested in everything, and while that is nice to see, it has really become a full-time job just to watch over her.

But these times will disappear all too soon. That's something I keep trying to remind myself. And so my wife and I will not waste any day that we can spend time with our kids. Sometimes we shout, sometimes tempers flare, but  they all just add to the many memories that we will have to look back on with fondness. So bring on the beach!

Wooboy....late again. But at least I'm here.

So...wanted to write something, kind of like, advice for my girls. Something that they can read about when they are still young and receptive, before the rebellion kicks in. I want to be able to drill some of these points in while they're still young, so that when they become older, in the midst of all the physical and emotional chaos that adolescence will bring, while struggling through the hormonal upheaval, they will hold these - dare I say? - principles to heart.

I want to write about boys. Men. What to expect. What not to expect. What some of the utterly ridiculous myths and lies about them are, and how to be careful about them when need be.

Now, please don't mistake this as a male-bashing post. I am a man myself, after all. Whatever I write in this post are of course my own opinions, and by virtue of the nature of such a post, there is a certain amount of generalisation involved. But I am not writing about the exception here.

Often, whether in movies, TV shows, books, or causal conversations with people, I come across, as I'm sure many of you do, certain common characteristics that guys are supposed to possess, or certain values promoted as the right values. For the sake of my daughters, I want to point out some of these mistakes, and clarify where I stand on them. For the rest of you, read at your own leisure, or, if it offends, take it with a pinch of salt, or don't read it.


1. "When a guy says 'I love you', congratulations, because he really means it. It is just not possible for a guy to say that and not mean it."

Anyone heard this before? I've seen it in so many shows. The girl will say "I love you" to the guy, and he will at first be reluctant to say those words back, because he's still not fully sure of the relationship. Then, further down the story, as the guy becomes sure, he says them, and everybody knows, that means the guy is 100% sincere and honest, and he will stay faithful to the girl forever, because he uttered those words.

Girls, that is false. Please do not fall for this lie. Generally speaking, it is no harder for a guy to say that than for a girl to do the same. Some guys, when they do say those words, they really do mean it, and they don't take it lightly, and it is in fact a sign of their commitment. But just as many, if not more, guys will not hesitate to shout out those 3 words, in order to achieve whatever they were hoping to achieve. And since this is a family-friendly blog with family-friendly posts, I shall refrain from elaborating further what those goals might be. So it's really not a case of whether a guy says it or a girl says it, it's the character of the person, whether he means what he says or not.


2. "Just because we're together, doesn't mean I can't have my own personal space. Stop trying to find out who I go out with, and don't even think about checking my phone! That means you don't trust me!"

Again, hands up those who have come across this before. The idea is, girls, please don't be so possessive, or jealous, or demanding. Just give your man some personal space. It's okay if he keeps some things from you. Don't keep questioning him. You mean you don't trust him?

On the surface of it, it seems logical right? A lot of TV shows portray the over-possessive and insecure wife or girlfriend trying to check on the husband or boyfriend's handphone, or email, or demanding to know where he was going. More often than not, they are seen to be a bit crazy, and usually they are found to be in the wrong, and to have worried for nothing.

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't believe there should be personal space between married couples. If not married yet, fine, there's an argument for that to be made, since both parties have not fully committed to each other. But once a couple is married, the husband and wife are supposed to share in everything. There should not be any secrets between them. No such thing as meetings with own personal friends that the wife cannot interfere with. Handphone messages, emails, everything should be open and transparent. Of course, in a healthy relationship, the wife should not be demanding to check on the husband's phone messages every hour, and if the husband doesn't have a habit of hiding things, the wife, assuming she is a normal person, will not make such demands. But if she should want to look at his handphone at anytime, he should freely let her do so, since there should not be anything to hide.

The husband should also let his wife be aware at all times where he is, doing what, and with whom. It is not a matter of trust here, but accountability. It is a way of letting the wife know that he will not put himself in a compromising situation, for example, being alone with a female colleague. And going out alone with a friend of the opposite sex, no matter how platonic the friendship is supposed to be, is a definite no-no after marriage, unless there is explicit consent from the wife. And of course, this is true the other way round as well.


3. If a guy tells you not to fall for him, or not to get to close to him, or he may fall for you, and he doesn't want that because he can't give you the best, or he's not good enough, or something to that effect, please listen and run far far away!

Girls, please don't take that as a challenge, or think that the guy is so considerate, he really cares for you, and he is worried he can't give you the best, so he is fighting against his feelings and telling you to stay away. There is only one reason for saying such things: entrapment. It's a snare designed to draw you in even deeper. He knows the kind of reverse psychology effect such words will have on you. And he has the secondary benefit of an excuse if and when he breaks up with you in the end. "See, I told you right in the beginning!"


4. Beware of sweet talk and "romantic" actions.

It's a scientific fact. Guys are stimulated by visual images. Girls, on the other hand, are attracted to words, to the creating of emotions, feelings, through these words, as well as actions. So you have guys who are really adept at saying the right words, doing the right things, to create a "romantic" atmosphere. While all these things are important in enhancing the courtship process, girls have to be very careful to distinguish between this and the guy's actual character. I mean, it's all well and good to say all the touching things, we see this all the time in the TV drama serials, but it's not difficult to say these words, or do those actions. These are all superficial. Look deeper into the person's character, how he acts under pressure, how he treats other people, especially when he's not aware that you are watching. Ultimately, these are the important things you look for in a guy, not how mushy he makes you feel with words and superficial acts.


My dearest Chloe, Clarissa, and Charlotte,

There will come a time when these things become relevant to you. When it comes, I pray that you will take these points to heart. While in the whirlwind of romance, always keep your feet on the ground, and remember what is important. And when in doubt, always remember the most important advice of all: Ask your father.

Makeshift post

Oops, some delay in my latest post. Unbelievably busy the past 2 weeks, after coming back from my leave. Had a nice break.

I wrote about our chalet stay in the last post, while we were still in the chalet. We had quite a lot of fun. So much, in fact, that we extended one more night of stay, making it 4 nights in all. We were at the water theme park twice, and although my kids couldn't go on all the rides, they still had fun on those they could go on. The chalet resort was also quite comfortable. And it was all for a fraction of what we paid for our last staycation at Sentosa. Of course, there weren't things like room service, swimming pools and buffet restaurants, but it's nice to just have things a bit simpler. And a lot easier on the wallet as well.

So then I had about 1 week of leave, spent time with the kids, and then came back to work, and before I could blink twice, almost 2 weeks has passed in a blur.

It's going to be a short post, but I want to keep to my promise as best I can(yeah yeah, I know I'm a few days late), but I'll try to write the next post soon. I've been wanting to write on this particular topic for some time, and it's an important one, especially for my girls, so hopefully I find time in the next couple of days to write about it properly.

Chalet stay, AKA The Mandatory School Holidays Vacation

I'm currently writing this while at a chalet in Pasir Ris. It's the school holidays after all, so we thought we would let the kids have a pseudo-vacation, or staycation, or whatever people call it. Basically, my wife and I have decided we cannot go overseas for a holiday for at least another 1-2 years or so. The logistics of it, not to mention ensuring the safety of our army of children, would be a nightmare to consider. We'll need to wait till our kids are mostly independent, with maybe only the youngest to have to take care of. We're targeting our next overseas trip for end of next year, also to celebrate(hopefully) Chloe's end of PSLE.

So anyway, instead of a staycation in Rasa Sentosa, which was what we did last time(cost a bomb), we decided on a more economical one in D'Resort, at Pasir Ris. It's a fairly new place, and with the newly opened Wild Wild Wet water theme park nearby, we thought it an interesting choice. This time, it was with my wife's sister's family, as we also wanted our children to spend time with their cousin, my sister-in-law's daughter.

It started yesterday(Friday), with a BBQ in the evening. As with most BBQs, in my opinion, the idea of it was exciting, and in the beginning it was fun, cooking over the fire, absorbing the smells and the taste. But it became tiring after awhile, and at the end, there was a bit of cleaning up to do. Still, I think the children had fun, which really was the important thing.

Chloe and Clarissa slept in the same room as their cousin, and they must have had a great time, because I could still hear them chatting and laughing late into the night(we had connecting rooms). My wife and I would have gotten up and gone over to try and get them to go to sleep, if our own bodies had not felt like lead, the moment we dropped onto our bed.

The next day(Saturday), I went off to work, because my leave actually starts next week, while the rest had breakfast and started their day in Wild Wild Wet. I only joined them around 3pm, after finishing work and rushing there. By that time, they were quite tired already, my wife in particular. Still, we spent quite a bit of time playing in the water, although we only had a proper ride late into the day, with Chloe, Gareth and Clarissa. The whole time, they were a bit nervous about taking those rides from a height, but once they tried it, they enjoyed it and wanted to go again, but unfortunately, the park was about to close. I told them we would try to go again the next day.

Had dinner at downtown east. Now the kids are sleeping soundly, and I'm here writing my blog(because I made some silly promise to write at least 2-weekly), while my wife is watching a Korean drama on her phone. We should probably sleep now, but I'll say that it's been quite fun so far(we're staying until Monday). It's certainly not as luxurious as a hotel stay would afford, but hey, it's a different experience, and I don't want my kids to think the only way a holiday can be good if it was an extravagant one.

Star Wars Run 2017

I don't know how this whole thing evolved, because I was never a big fan of Star Wars(I never even watched the original 3 episodes), but I somehow made my 2 sons huge Star Wars fans. I think it's largely to do with the fact that, while not really into the shows, I do find light sabers very cool, and would often expose my sons to these toys, when we go to Toys R Us, and I would tell them the little I know about Star Wars. Gareth became very interested, and started reading all the children's books about Star Wars, and now knows way more than me. Gideon, like me, just likes light sabers very much. As a result, we now have several light sabers(the cheapo ones, of course), a Darth Vader mask, and a few other Star Wars toys. Gareth has also watched a couple of the movies(much to my wife's disapproval), and even Gideon has watched Rogue One, though I'm not sure what he understood from the movie. He did come out of it chanting, "I'monewiththeforceandtheforceiswithme...."

Anyway, because of this, my wife and I decided to sign the whole family up for the Star Wars Run that was to be organized in Singapore. It cost us a bomb, although Gideon and Charlotte were not included(too young), but we made sure that we could bring them along.

So it was on 6 May 2017. It was....quite an experience. The beginning was still alright. There was a big space in the race village, and the runners were all scattered, so it didn't feel too crowded. But when we went to queue for the run itself at the starting point, it was crazy. 50 000 people signed up for the event. The lines of people snaked up and down the huge open field at MBS. We waited in the sweaty crowd for what felt like an eternity, before it came to our turn to pass the starting point. By the time we did so, it was 40 minutes past the actual starting time.

Furthermore, because there were 2 race tracks, one for the light side, and one for the dark side, and because a disproportionately large number of people chose the dark side(yeah yeah, being bad is cool, and all that), that particular line was jammed. While edging forward in our lines, Chloe, Clarissa and I managed to force our way into the light side of the queue, which was a lot lighter(what a clever pun), but my wife and the rest of the kids could not, and were pushed into the dark side queue. As a result, we were forced to go on different routes. We tried to wait just past the starting point for them to cross over to the light side, but for some reason, one of the workers told us we could not wait there, even though we were not blocking anyone. So we had to be separated.

It was, all in all, a pretty nice walk. The night air was pretty cool, and we walked along the Singapore River, and through the various shops and restaurants lined alongside. We went up the helical bridge, and took in Singapore's cityline. I was surprised at my daughters' endurance, in particular Clarissa's. We walked for a solid hour, covering 4.5km, and she did not once stop and whine about how tired she was.

The other group had their walk cut short, probably because of the huge crowd on the dark side track. They ended up at the finishing line way ahead of us, and watched the open air screening of The Force Awakens, while waiting for us. Eventually, we all got our medals, and by the time we got home, it was way past bedtime.

Below are a few pics of our experience.

A nice family pic to start the whole thing.

Caught this AT walker at the festival village.

We had time to get some face, well, arm, paintings.

They had cool Star Wars characters walking around happy to take photos with the runners.

Taking a quick light dinner before the run.

Must get a lovey dovey pic with the wife, of course.

Just before we got into the huge crowd to line up for the race.

Got a pic of the girls with Merlion during our walk.

The proud finisher!

Chloe got interviewed by the organizing staff as a promotional video of the event, to support bringing it back next year.

And that's that. It was quite an experience, and overall, I would say enjoyable, especially for the kids. We might sign up for more of these, and it'll probably be easier to manage as the kids get older.